“God will take care of you, through every day, o’er all the way…” –Martin
The mammograms and ultrasound were not too bad, the biopsy was not as bad as I thought it would be, and even the phone call with the pathology report was better than expected.
What caught me off guard was walking down the hallway of the Morris Clinic Cancer unit at Duke. I’ve been at Duke South many, many, many times. I’ve even had some good appointments there … anybody remember these ultrasound pictures of Cadence at 18wks?
Anyway, the walk down that hallway was entirely different on Friday. As the patient. As the one that will probably lose my hair. As the one that might not feel like walking across that bridge from the parking deck.
It was a long day. I had six breast exams (but I’ll take that over six pelvic exams ANY day!). I had to tell my story six times. I was in appointments constantly from 8am-4pm.
But I learned a lot. I learned that my children were a gift from God and He provided them exactly when He wanted me to have them. I learned that I needed to wean Wade quickly. I learned that it is likely I have a BRCA1 gene mutation. I learned that the chance of a recurring cancer is 50% in a woman my age that gets breast cancer. I learned that Duke maybe sees ONE incident of breast cancer in breast feeding women every year!
I learned that the kind words of a stranger means so much. That a box of Kleenex and a hug from a nurse who sees patients all day every day is still a really nice gesture.
I learned that I have the best husband and mom in the world and my children WILL be cared for even if I am not here to let the climb in my lap all day. Grandmas and grandpas (and aunts!) are good like that.
I learned that although just this diagnosis seems SO HARD, this is really the easy part. I feel fine. I’m not sick and I haven’t had major surgery. Those valleys are yet to come.
Tomorrow morning, I will have the first of seven more appointments this week. That equates to two full days at the hospital and being away from my kids.
I will be having additional testing done to see if the cancer is contained to the breast. I will have tests to make sure my heart is strong enough to undergo treatment <3…pretty sure it is! I will have genetic testing done to see if this cancer is being caused by a BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation. All of these things will determine my treatment plan; when and what type of surgery I will have + when and what type of chemo I will have.
Please pray for peace and strength for us while we’re at the hospital, wisdom and guidance for the doctors, and patience and love for the caregivers of my children!