Before we get too far into this…let me just clarify that all of my feelings regarding this diagnosis have not been pleasant ones…at all! Satan has continually tried (and succeeded at times) to plant seeds of doubt and fear. Overall I have had a really good peace about this though, and I am thankful for that.
So I have already seen God work through this and I do trust Him to see me through, but sometimes when I sit still and think about it, I feel
a lot a little nervous, anxious and fearful about what my treatment plan may include.
In my mind I know all the scriptures that encourage me not to worry, and I know God will sustain me, but I also know I need to learn to lean on Him even more. Great is thy faithfulness. I am in the easy part of this diagnosis. It will only get more difficult from here.
Yes, it has already been hard emotionally, but I am such a wimp when it comes to this physical stuff…
- I dread losing my hair (although maybe it will look better when it comes back in…not so gray 😉 )
- I dread the nausea and vomiting (I did that for 9 mths with Cadence, but somehow think this will be much, much worse)
- I dread all the upcoming procedures and surgeries (who wants to have a port for chemo inserted, another biopsy and both breasts removed?!)
Anyway, I’m not perfect and my faith isn’t perfect. But as a commenter pointed out this morning, Jesus said with faith as small as a mustard seed we can move mountains! I like this translation for this verse (New Living): “You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.” Matthew 17:20
Praying for an abundance of faith and peace this morning and throughout my treatment. God’s still faithful!!!