I am emerging from the fog tonight.

Several days ago (four and half, I think), I posted a smiling picture of me lying in a hospital bed getting my first chemo…umm, what was I thinking?  Let’s just say it was all downhill from there.

I see Lydia posted for me one day, but I only have vague recollections of asking her to do so…

Actually, I only have vague recollections of the past several days in general:

  • I have never felt so sick as the chemo made me feel on Thursday afternoon
  • I have never felt so dizzy as the chemo has made me feel since Thursday afternoon
  • I have the best husband in the world and he is the best nurse in the world
  • My kids have the best grandparents in the world and I never have to worry about my kids while they are with them
  • I am so weak right now that my arm muscles are tired just typing this
  • In spite of the nausea, I have been able to eat occasionally…mostly Eggo waffles.  Strawberry flavored.  They are good.
  • And Life cereal.  Whitney, thank you for the cereal.  I don’t remember talking to you, but I remember you bringing me cereal.
  • Jennifer, thanks for the pedicure.  My feet must have looked pretty bad because several people have commented on how much better my toenails look. 🙂
  • Mello Yello, water, tea, mocha frappe, powerade slushie….nothing really tastes very good after chemo, but Lydia, thank you for bringing them to me to try.
  • I can’t name everyone who has brought a meal, but thank you.  I know my family is well taken care of.

So up until this evening, that is almost all I remember.

Tonight I had some beautiful flowers delivered.  Nicole, I hope your day was perfect. I know it was beautiful. ❤

Tonight I also missed preschool open house.   Cadence and Ella will be going for the first time this year.  Thanks Hilary, for showing Brandon the ropes!

I’m sad for the things I don’t remember.  But I’m happy that tomorrow is a new day and I will be stronger and remember more…

Mostly I’m thankful for small favors…last night I remember “cuddling” with Cadence during the thunderstorms.  She wanted me to sing the “rolling thunder” song.

How great thou art, how great thou art….


About Candace

Stay at home mom of three small kids (3, 2, and almost 1) -- about to embark on the biggest journey of my life.
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13 Responses to Wow

  1. you are such a strong woman, (((Hugs)))

  2. Sending love and light. Grateful to you (and Lydia) for posting here for the rest of us.

    My friend Marty reminded me about this blog: Her friend is Susan N. on the blog. Might be a good resource for you when you need it, or at least a place to feel like you’re not the only one.

  3. I am so sorry that chemo has been so bad for you. Bless you.

  4. Jennifer Lane Phillips says:

    Candace you are such a STRONG and BEAUTIFUL woman! You will get through this trial God that has in store for you, and you will be all the stronger and more wonderful for it!! Keep your head up and continue to let your family take care of you. I think about you daily and keep you in my prayers. You are such an inspiration, I love reading your blog… 🙂 I can’t compare my sickness to the battles you are fighting now, but back when I was really sick and in and out of hospitals and doctor’s offices every week and counting all the meds I had to take, the one thing that answered all my “Why’s?” was this: “It’s the character that’s the strongest that God gives the most challenges to.” I believe you are one of those character’s. ❤

  5. kim moore says:

    Candace! I am so sorry that it was so bad:( I will keep on praying for you! Love you!

  6. Dennis says:

    I truly admire your strength and your enduring faith. My prayers are with you and your family.

  7. Teresa Wall says:

    Sharing my devotion again….Acts 16:22-31 After Paul was stripped, beaten, flogged, thrown in prison with his feet in stocks, prayed and sang hymns to God (How great thou art!!). Those hearing him {the prison guard} begged him to tell them what they must do to be saved and he answered “Believe in the Lord Jesus”. The writer of this spoke of how God doesn’t waste our pain; he uses it to bring about HIS plan-to position us so that others can see HIS transforming power at work in our lives and believe in the LIVING GOD!!!
    Praising the Lord for the small favors and for your witness to us all (even those dear babies who already know the security and peace from praises you sing to THE MOST HIGH!!)
    Buckets of love to you all!!!

  8. Lynn Lawing says:

    Continuing to pray for you Candace and thank you for the update!! Stay STRONG and keep smiling!

  9. You are so lovely, so beautiful in our Lord. Your thankfulness to Him comes through in the dark night of your pain. Stay strong in the power of His might! We love you so much……..You are hidden in the hollow of HIS HAND………

  10. Karina says:

    It sounds awful… 😦 I am sending you hugs as well, and warm thoughts, and hoping you can get your strength back (yay for cereal and waffles!).

  11. Praying that God will comfort and strengthen you. You are in our thoughts.

    Cast all your worries upon the Lord because He cares for you.
    1 Peter 5:7

  12. i’m so sorry it was a rough few days……but your attitude is so remarkable!!!!!! i’ll keep my positive thoughts going if you do , too!!!!! deal 😉 !!! one down!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Phyllis Dixon says:

    Praying for you and your family…so sorry you have been so sick! You are an awesome young woman and your Faith shows through all your sickness!!! God has great plans for you,you are an Inspiration to alot of women that may be going through the same thing..Your faith is definately an inspiration to me!! Love you and your family!!

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