I anticipated a lot of blog time this week and it just hasn’t happened.
I also anticipated being able to watch the kids completely by myself this week….it hasn’t really happened either. Today is Wednesday. I was fine all day Monday. But by late Tuesday afternoon I was worn down. This afternoon I was also really worn out after my morning appointment at Duke with my mom, sister and aunt. Thank goodness for mine and my husband’s very strong family support system.
Here is a little collage of Cadence before and at gymnastics. I think she did great! I was happy that I could take her and see her.
Last night Brandon took me out on a date. I didn’t really want to go because I’d had a tough day and I am always torn about leaving the kids these days when I don’t have to be away from them.
We had dinner and he took me to get an ice cream cone. And he let me go shop for a bit, which is always a nice treat without the kids.
My hair looks kind of crazy here. I didn’t want to brush it, because…guess what…it was all falling out!
It was far more of a shock that I thought it would be. Kind of like walking down the hospital hallway as a cancer patient for the first time. Just really a hit that took me by surprise. Even though I knew it was coming and thought I didn’t care.
To those that know me well, I care about my lipstick and mascara…but hair? Not so much! Give me a ponytail and I’m good to go! And lately, I’ve looked like a skunk with the big white streaks appearing at the front of my head. I should be happy to see it go…right?
Plus I’d seen my mom bald. I’d seen Frannie lose her hair. I thought I was prepared.
But man, when Wade started pulling out handfuls of hair at a time, I
almost lost it.
So after our date, here’s what we did…cut off my ponytail!! Look how thin my hair is around my hairline!
And are you ready for this?
Here’s what we did next:
I don’t think I’m ready to post what we did after this. Actually, right after this, we buzzed it again with no guard (I think that is a one guard cut above!). But the next think involved a razor and shaving cream and the removal of that cute little stubble. 🙂 If I can ever get my videos to upload I’ll share a short clip, but yeah, I’m a regular ole baldy now!
I have a huge scar on the back of my head from an old wakeboarding accident…hmm, probably should have had stitches in that! I also had three huge cowlicks in my hair. Maybe they won’t grow back like that!
Anyway, you know what … IT FEELS GREAT! Really and truly, I wish I had done it as soon as the first strands started falling out. For one thing, my scalp literally hurt yesterday. I guess it was all those follicles releasing, but it was VERY tender. More importantly, it really was depressing to watch it fall out all around me and I didn’t need it bringing my spirits down. Not to mention, I won’t have to worry about clogging the drain with it now! 😉
In His great mercy, God has yet again provided me with a peace that passeth all understanding. Yesterday I couldn’t even think about my hair without crying, but I kid you not, as soon as the ponytail was gone, I really did have a great peace about it. I know it is just a process, but I’m thankful that God makes it easy.
And don’t I have the best husband in the world for doing that for me? ❤ (That’s a heart, Brandon ;)!)
As for the kids, Wade didn’t seem to notice. Ella wanted to hug me and rub my hair. She doesn’t really talk yet, so she didn’t have anything to say. Cadence though, she was a sweetheart. After her initial reaction she sat back and looked at me and said, “Why don’t you have any hair, mommy?” We had our standard conversation about mommy being sick. She said, “Will you get new hair mommy?” I assured her I would. I told her maybe it would look like hers or look like Ella’s (she smiled)…or MAYBE, I said, it would look like Papa’s hair…she got very serious again and said, “Mommy, get your hair again.”
And while Ella is rubbing my head like a genie’s lamp, Cadence has been kind of hesitant about touching it. Tonight though, when I was singing to her she sat in my lap. It was dark, and out of the blue she just started rubbing it as I sang. Maybe she just needed to work up her courage?
Anyway, Susan W. – Don’t you worry about that hair either…it will be back! I am happy to say it is the least of my worries now!
I surprised myself when we went to the hospital today. No wig for me…just a baseball cap! Granted, I was going to the oncology clinic, so I knew I wouldn’t be alone in my baldness…but still! It felt good.
I told Brandon that from this point forward I’m sure it will make everybody else more uncomfortable to see me bald than I am uncomfortable BEING bald. But I promise, IT IS WELL…!
27“Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 28“But if God so clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, how much more will He clothe you?…”